BBC TV News Review - Monday 30th July

Our round up of the days events on the BBC News at 10 was hosted by Hugh Edwards, and we commenced with the visit of Gordon Brown to our American cousins leader, George Bush. Topics up for discussion by the pair included the future of Iraq, Darfur and terrorism. We were told that their body language was under scrutiny; however, George told us that Gordon was not the "dour, awkward, Scotsman" he had expected and we went to Nick Robinson, the BBC chief political reporter, to see what he had to say.

Nick told how this meeting should offer "more diplomatic moments than colgate moments", in reference to the first meeting between Blair and Bush - however we saw images of George driving Gordon round in circles in a golf buggy. Nothing changes. Nick discussed Iraq and al-Quaeda - we saw him asking questions at a session. It appears that Bush wishes to give the impression that "the Brits are still on my side" whilst Gordon is attempting to show the British voters that "I am a world leader but know how to keep my distance from the President you dont like". This is according to Nick.

From here, we went to Iraq, to see images of malnourished children and social deprivation, the situation has obviously got worse since we commenced the war. One in four children is malnourished and clean drinking water is scarce. We saw a typical family who slept 10 in a house, they kept their water in old barrels which had been painted bright bowser blue. We saw a typical meal being cooked on the stove - "fried bread and onions". The social breakdown has apparently been caused by a "lack of proper law and order" and not the conflict.

A feature on hostages somewhere, sorry I missed it.

Lord Sacchi has criticised David Cameron, the Conservative leader, for concentrating on branding the party rather than offering real, tangible policies which would "put money in peoples pockets." We heard how Cameron was "obsessed with public relations" and was involved in "blatent gimmickry." Mention was made of "get a peerage" although it may have been a pun on PR.

Floods here followed, water should be restored to most affected areas by Sunday, although it will still not be safe to drink. There was no mention of the hopefully mythical reports concerning individuals urinating in the bowsers.

Floods in China - their "offical state media" have advised of 600 dead. We saw clips of their television which showed a young lad being rescued from a swollen river; very similar to ours. It appears Chinese officials are blaming global warming and we cut to Bejing, where a helpful BBC reporter told us that China's problem is - "its raining, here, and in other parts of China". Talk about old rope.

Coming up - a jungle feature on Malaysia

First, the perhaps aptly named reporter, Danny Savage, travelled to the urban jungle of Manchester, for a special feature on gun crime. Matters have always been bad in this neck of the woods however they took a new low last week when there was shooting at a funeral wake. We were told of all the malarky and saw images of a funeral from last year. A map was shown, Hulme, Mosside and Chorlton are apparantly the worst areas. A DJ talked of peace and love; another of our coloured brothers talked of a "change of mindset."

Chris Langham, the potential celebrity paedophile, was at court again, day three of the trial, we heard of allegations he "groomed a girl."

Ingmar Bergman the film maker passed away, aged 89. A short clip of one of his creations was shown where a a skeleton type man stated - "I am death." then played chess. Ken Russell appeared and told of a metaphoric "swedish sauna with the door open." Black and White ?

The promised feature on Malaysia next - this concerned a jungle tribe from Penan , I think, who's home environment is at risk from global change. The global change being pressure from logging industries. Anyway, our reporter hacked his way through undergrowth in this, "a place easy to get lost in" until he luckily stumbled upon a family harvesting sagel (which I cannot find in my dictionary). For this group, "working together is the key to survival" and the "forest represts freedom."

We saw some locals interviewed and with the help of translation, they told how "the jungle is like our parent, we love it". Furthermore it is like "a supermarket, hospital and town, combined"

We were told that even though they live in a village they stil go out to hunt and gather food; images were shown of one using a blowpipe as we travelled on an unsuccessful and short hunting expedition. On the way back we stopped to sup water at a makeshift boy scout style bowser, constructed with half bamboo pipes.

We closed with consideration being given us to whether the natives should in fact "have to accept our modern world and become like everyone else." Apparently, this is "nothing to what their children face" and images of lovely little jungle-infants were shown.

I went to bed and missed ITN and the special feature this week on predators and paedophiles. I will try to catch it tonight.

I am death

cheers

ITN News Review - Saturday 28th July

I watched the ITN News at around teatime on Saturday where we commenced matters with the floods; a body has been recovered in Gloucestershire, it is believed to be that of a young man who went missing last week. Hilary Benn, our environment secretary, who curiously is a man with a womans name, visited Oxford to see the aftermath of the storm damage. Apparently, we should all "expect more extreme weather to come" and be prepared for "coping with wild weather."

Manchester followed, a double shooting last night. This is a "city plagued with gun crime" with around five shootings this week alone. It is caught up in a "cycle of violence."

20 year old man appeared in court charged with the shooting of a 16 year old in London, earlier this week.

Soldier killed in Afghanistan - Total UK body count now stands at 67.

John Terry of the football team Chelsea has signed a new contract, he will earn £135,000 each week. This allowed ITN to drool over a car showroom window at Ferraris etc.

Cricket - apparently more misery. Exactly how the floods are described each evening.

Next up, a man preparing to be King opening the Scouts Jamboree at Hylands Park, Chelmsford. Prince William was there along with The Duke of Kent who is in fact president of the Scout movement which was set up in 1907 by Lord Robert Baden Powell. The Duke spoke of how the scouting movement was a "beacon of light" and we saw Wills, dressed in suit, tie and matching neckerchief, playing some tribal bongo drums.

Tommy Cooper ?

This may seem a very slender connection, but look at the above snap. Is that in fact the Tommy Cooper type hand gesture. - Just like that. Tommy Cooper was know for his fondness for the fez hat as was the shopkeeper in the classic cartoon series, Mr. Benn, as in Hilary.

As if by magic

BBC TV News Review - Friday 28th July

Flood were first again on the BBC News at 10 and we heard of the "true cost of the floods" in financial terms and it appears that food prices are going to rise. Prince Charles has visited one of the flood ravaged areas and we saw images of this. Boats were shown, stranded on dry land in farmers fields, where they had been dumped by the floodwater. Reference was made to the strong smell eminating from water ravaged houses and our reporter held his nose to indicate the severity of the foul stench.

Harry, the Bulgarian infant salesman, was back in the news and we heard from Sangita Myska again, the reporter who singly handedly smashed this global people trafficking ring. She seemed to be stating that this was in fact a big story and that Harry was a bad person which overlooked the facts that this was firstly entrapment and secondly that Madonna appears to do exactly the same thing but possibly pays more.

Next was the case of a man with learning difficulties who was tortured and murdered by some young people. The girl who eventually stamped on his hands as he hung from an aquaduct was only 12. We heard of the torture and that this was "collective, unparalleled, evil". No attempt was made by the BBC to analyse the reasons for this perhaps reptilian behaviour.

Charles Langham, the celebrity, comedy-writing, potential paedophile was briefly on again and we heard of a sex addiction.

Australia has dropped all terrorism charges against one of the recent suspect arrested in the aftermath of Glasgow and London. It appeared that the only charge he was being held on was supplying a mobile telephone sim card to one of the individuals who was actually involved.

The link between fat people and diabetes followed and we saw images of obesity.

Your Tube and football followed. The English FA are attempting to copyright the clips of football matches which are currently available. Reference was also made to Elvis Presley. Apparently, the BBC has a business partnership with YT, the details of which were not revealed. However, "one of the burning questions of our time is how do you own an image". Newspaceman confesses here that the adjective just used may not have been burning, he cannot read his own writing.

We rolled on to cannabis psychosis and we heard of the "links". A lady was shown, Annette Wilson, the mother of a boy who killed his father and her husband with an axe I think. She blamed the skunk for this action and told how they had pleaded with him to stop smoking it. However, it appeared that he had ignored this advice and as such had "killed his brain". She pleaded with others to stop killing their brains as well. We heard of a "broad scientific concensus" that cannabis caused mental health problems and we heard of getting a new brain. Various anti cannabis individuals were shown and we saw a cannabis farm.

What if, cannabis actually "opened" your mind a veritable fraction, and allowed you to view our world as it actually is. People have become insane with love of money and what that buys, yet they are chasing nothing. They perceive their status as human beings in what others think of them and believe that a man is measured on his material assets. We spend our lives travelling to work, working, general chores and drudgery; then get smashed on alcohol (because that is strangely acceptable) to obliviate the actual misery and, perhaps more importantly, to avoid facing up to the actual realities of our shite lives.

We also spent our lives in perpetual anxiety over money, crime, terrorism, floods - really whatever the media decide the topic to be. Unless you live a hermetical lifestyle you cannot be immune to the nefarious media virus which pervades and toxifies what, really, should be a happy life in the short time we are here. Paradoxically, we claim that we put our children first and that you cant do enough for your kids. Have you seen the future that they are due to inherit - that you have bequethed them - a totalitarian police state where individuality and even free thinking are forgotten, nay despised.

Sorry about that, last up was the drunken astronauts, and we heard of more of their capers, including a love triangle.

Open your eyes ?

Cheers

BBC TV News Review - Thursday 27th July

Our BBC News at 10 commenced with a special investigative feature on "children for sale". Reporter, Sangita Myska, had travelled to Bulgaria where she had met up with a "people trafficker" going by the name of Harry; although he was foreign.

A clandestine meeting was arranged; at a garage service station - a shrewd move by Harry; according to Sangita - as he would be able to monitor other vehicles who may have been observing or following her. Negotiations to purchase a baby for "adoption" were quickly made.

After a couple of further hotel meetings at which Harry offered to procure an infant for 60,000 euros ,a viewing was arranged in an outdoor cafe. Our reporter sat whilst no less than four adorable little-ones were displayed by their parents or grandparents. They told of their struggle to bring up their children and their wish for a better home for them.

That seemed to be about it. Sangita had reported Harry to the Bulgarian authorities and they had arrested him. We were treated to some figures about child trafficking, 330 in the UK in 2005-06.

1.2 million per year worldwide. No mention was made of Madonna and her penchance for purchasing babies.

Floods were next and tragically two men perished in the basement of a rugby club, probably from fumes from a faulty pump. The usual flood images were shown before we went to Gavin Hewitt in Gloucester. Gavin told how the water crisis is easing with "less agitation round the bowsers today". He warned of further torrential rain though and told that although some were "still desperate for water", it appeared that unknown individuals have been maliciously "turning on the dowser taps and letting the water simply run away". One wonders how they could do this, given the queues ?

Gavin then said he heard a gentleman shouting at another, close to a bowser. He raced from his vehicle with the camera crew and appeared to instantaneously apprehend an Asian couple with their car boot open. The camera showed about a dozen five litre drums of water. Gavin asked why they had all the water, they explained it was for their family. Gavin nodded suggestively. Either liars or maybe they do have a big family ? We saw exactly the same senario earlier in the week with the free bottled water and another Asian gentleman.

Soldier killed next by Taliban in Afghansitan

16 year old boy shot in London. Was chased first by a gang on bicycles.

Comedy writer, Chris Laghham, who faces various child abuse charges told a court how he himself had been abused and that he had attempted suicide. We saw images of him frantically smoking a cigarette.

A test case on overdraft charges by the banks will be heard in the High Court today.

Financial Services - share prices plummeted.

An honour killing next, details of another of these, almost religious, killings.

NASA next where a nefarious individual has, apparently, tampered with some equipment, cutting wires and suchlike. Notwithstanding this, it appears that some astronauts have been drunk going up into space.

Poor Shambo next. The Hindu monks sacred cow was taken away to be killed because it has bovine TB, a cattle disease. We saw the police invading a religious service and dragging away some worshippers before Shamo was put in the back of a cattle-van and driven away. There was filth everywhere. Last thing we saw was its eyes looking out the truck but a monk told us Shambos life was not in vain.

And neither was this feature which started in May this year. What it was telling us is that it doesnt really matter about logic any more, or decency or principles or even common sense. We live in a totalitarian state where any deviancy will not be tolerated. You might not think that but this type of feature is part of a very slow and nefarious conditioning programme. You see enough of these features and you just accept what you are being told - you have already been conditioned through the television to believe that resistance is futile - because you have seen it happen so many times on your screen.

Last word on Shambo. We are due to slaughter thousands of badgers because they are believed to carry bovine TB. This has been done before and does not actually work. We are doing this so that Shambos genetically modified brothers and sisters are available cheaply for us to eat.

ITN - "Off your face in outer space"

Moonshine ?

Cheers

ITN TV News Review - Wednesday 25th July

I shall just try to briefly run through ITN News at half ten.


Floods to start, we saw Linda Kitchin (one in every house), crying after revisiting her flood ravaged property. We heard of al-Quaeda, "an enemy that is far from beaten", their previous leader who was just apparently been killed has been "replaced by his own brother". Could you have a brother who was not your own? An al-Q member was pictured, his words helpfully translated for us - "we will use children to behead infadels".

Gordon Brown and Terror, we saw the conservative party member Nick Clegg, who talked of "smoke and mirrors". We heard of David Cameron whos popularity is waning. 21% down since GB took over, whilst, coincidentally, Gordon's has risen 21%. We saw a long interview with David Cameron as he lectured on "family is at the heart of everything".

Feature on Cannabis and the new "ultra strong" skunk. We saw a clip from the flower power era with hippies dancing and heard that the drugs now are much stronger. Apparently, skunk has 14% THC (a physcoactive chemical compound), normal cannabis only 4%. Anyway, skunk caused suicides and we saw images of an commercial sized indoor garden. It seems "easy to find" as well, as dealers "roam the streets", offering their wares. However, it appeared ITN couldnt find one as we then saw a man approach a front door and then leave. He then showed us a small bag of weed which he had "scored". Features like this tell me the truth about our news, it contained dozens of factual inaccuracies including the supposed "mellow strength" cannabis of the sixties. The stuff brought back from the mountains of Nepal by early travellers could in no way be described as weak and the THC/CBD content would easily surpass that of skunk.


Facebook next - court proceedings - another black and white issue we were told.

We closed with the headlines. Our presenter went through the majority of the papers, and the actual front page flashes up for one to view. However, at the end, he claimed to have lost his headlines, then fumbled his paperwork, and found them. He then read out the two newspapers involved, the Sun and the Daily Mail, but nothing appeared on the "big screen".

More to that than meets the eye.

If only everything in life was black or white

BBC TV News Review - Wednesday 25th July

We commenced with Hugh on the BBC News at Ten where the ongoing FLOOD CRISIS was still the main headline news. "Running out of water" seemed to be the jist, as such we travelled to Gloucester with reporter Gavin Hewitt to see exactly what was going on.

Waiting, waiting we were told, and we saw images of queues of people. More thirsty individuals were pictured, "searching with containers" during a "day of roaming". An old lady told how she feared someone would be "found, dead in bed". Groups of individuals were "stood on street corners; drawn together by rumours", waiting for the public water dispensers (bowsers) to be filled; perhaps hoping to corner the market, who knows ?

Bowsing for water - 2007

Gavin then decided to check water availability from bowsers; personally. We saw him pictured at a number of these large blue plastic vessels, turning the tap, and shaking his head mournfully when they were found to be empty. He then approached a large throng of individuals, each festooned with numerous empty plastic recepticles and asked them collectively "What are you all waiting for". No response was forthcoming to this obviously ridiculous question.

We briefly turned to yesterdays outrage when it was revealed that certain nefarious individuals were in fact blagging extra supplies of bottled water and were told, that thankfully, a new system has been brought in to eradicate this problem. The solution is simple though, once people have received their allocation, the back of their hands are marked. See the Bible for more on this interesting concept.

Gordon Brown told of his solutions, more tankers, more bowsers and we went to Bristol to see "how people are adapting". Things are pretty grim here it appears, all the pubs and clubs have been closed by Health and Safety. Perhaps because of this we immediately went back to Hugh in the studio and from there to Richard Bilton, a reporter in West Oxford.

Richard introduced us to a elderly lady, Masie, I think her name was, and we saw as her daughter "helps her to escape" from the flood ravaged abode. She was obviously distraught. We were told that hundreds have been moved to safety and we saw a pregnant mother, "stranded in flats". Again this whole business went on and on, we eventually closed by being told of "a surge, flowing down the Thames."

We revisited Hugh in the studio and moved on to heatwaves in Europe. Images of burning woodland were shown and we heard of searing temperatures in Hungary, Greece and Italy. A visit to the Acropolis was next and we saw a thick blanket of smog which surrounds the ancient city. Mention was made of links to global warming.

Suicide bombings are a daily event in Iraq however one yesterday apparently merited further attention as it happened after a football match. We heard of 50 dead, 130 injured and were told that "the American surge has led to a reduction in violence but some insurgent attacks get through."

Back home, we heard from Nick Robinson on the days political events which appear to revolve around our security. Images of the recent London and Glasgow terrorist events were shown to illustrate the constant danger and we heard of a Unified Border Force which is to be established; this, along with biometric identity checks, visas and a 56 day - without charge - detention period for suspected terrorists. Apparently we live in a "brave new world, today".

To further illustrate this global, world concept, our next destination was China where we heard of the "Great Wall of Cash. This involves the chinese investing heavily ("on a spending spree" in Western companies and the example of Barclays Bank was provided. It appears that we are not allowed to invest in China but we wont say no to their money.

Tour De France - "was billed as the clean tour" - now riddled with the taint of drugs. Talk of revolution abounds.

cheers

Dowsing for water - 18th Century

BBC TV News Review - Tuesday 24th July

We were still on FLOOD CRISIS with the BBC News at 10 last night; as such we commenced our voyage in Gloucester where the main topic was water. No longer is the flood water the issue it seems, instead we have turned to drinking water or rather the perceived lack of it.

Images were shown of a supermarket car park where free bottled water was being distributed by the authorities. Unfortunately for our reporter, there were no huge queues or signs of civil unrest so he chose to question whether people were exceeding their quota of one pack per household. We saw a respectable lady putting two cases in her car boot, she advised that one was for her daughter's family. We then saw a gentleman of Asian descent; he was loading five or six cases into a jeep. When questioned by the journalist, he attempted to respond but the jeep drove away, so we never got to hear his side of the story and were left to make up our own mind.

Consideration was given to how close we had come to an even worse senario; Brigadeer Jackson, who heads the flood defence team said that about 6 inches more water level - 500,000 houses would have lost electrical power. We drifted on - a couple with a lovely baby were shown, using old bathwater to flush the toilet. We went out with the army, BBC reporter Rajesh Mirchenadi and a police escort to deliver water; "vital supplies", in this instance to another old peoples home. Off to suburbia next where locals formed a human chain to pass single bottles down.

A cleverly constructed computer graphic 3D diagram appeared on screen. This showed a mock up of some hills and high ground with a river running through the middle. We were told how the water gathered in the hills, like Taliban, before unleashing itself on the flood defenceless towns, further down the valley.

Stay on the path, dont stray on the hills

"Isle of Tukesbury" was our next port of call, - "Britain's newest island community." Here we saw a man who had rigged up a winch to get in and out his flat, he didnt seem particularly amused at our intrepid reporters nonsensical questions. We saw some more light hearted locals who joked about coming from the mainland. Then we saw a black man who was working in a shop, he said that in "the five years I have been here, I have never seen anything like it".

It was time for Nick Robinson, the BBC chief political persuader who told how lucky we were that Wallam power station had not succumbed to the water. Priviliged Nick had managed to gain a private audience with Gordon Brown and we watched them strolling round number 10 before sharing a cosy fireside chat where Gordon confided that he had been working till midnight the previous night until he had heard that the waters were receding and had only then himself receded to bed. We saw images from the 9am cabinet meeting held yesterday morning, the concerned politicians, looking serious, talked water tactics. At some point in this feature we saw Gordon at his own book launch - Ordinary Heroes, out today.

Again this all went on for rather too long and we ventured into the possibilities for cause and potential financial cost although the answers provided were "guesses at the moment." It was time to dock for the "rest of the days news".

Railways - talk of expansion, better services etc. Again, this was a theoretical proposition.

David Cameron in Rwanda followed, he again defended his visit in light of the floods and stated that our world is global now and that we "are all in this together". We saw images of him socialising and speaking.

Another side of Africa now and we saw President Mugabe of Zimbabwe who is accusing the UK of attempting to impose illegal regime change. Images of his troops marching were shown and we were told how he is "not short of extravagance" while his people are starving. Images of people queuing for food were shown and we heard of monstrous inflation rates. This is "a land devoid of hope"

Chris Langham, a comedy writer/actor, is currently defending paedophile allegations in court in London. Another comedy celebrity, Paul Whitehouse, yesterday gave evidence. We saw Mr Langham arriving at court.

Time for a final flood update - a speeded up CCTV image of a flood actually taking place in a car park was shown and then we saw a devastated book factory, already the staff are clearing up and we heard of their "team spirit"

Last, but not least, the Queen has released a statement advising she is "deeply concerned" about the flooding.

Make mine a deep one

cheers

BBC TV News Review - Monday 23rd July

It was a special edition of the BBC News last night at 10; as such, our normally studio-bound anchor-man, Hugh Edwards, was at Gloucester for this FLOOD CRISIS.

Dressed in the reporter's prerequisite Berghaus storm proof jacket and stood in front of swollen waters, Hugh told how ten thousand homes had been affected. We saw an arial map of the flood zone along with helicopter views of the flooded areas. 100 sailors were shown, marching to assistance. An eye witness was interviewed telling how the water rose three feet in an hour. Furthermore, "People are clinging on - relying on bottled water" and we saw images of ladies panic buying in the supermarket. One advised she was "getting water to survive" and had filled numerous pots and pans at home.

We moved on round the country, our first stop was the Sweet family (phonetic spelling?). This couple and their sugar coated adorable children were pictured preparing for the worst. All their furniture, including settee, had been piled up and they were ready to head upstairs to safety. In Tewkesbury we saw an elderly lady, Edith Nation, getting a meal delivered to her home. No breaking this Nation. Anyway, we were warned that "much water from the hills is still to arrive" but there is a government Cobra meeting being held.

Cue Nick Robinson, the BBC's chief political editor. Nick looked grave as he stood in his immaculate cream raincoat and told of Walham power station and the fears it may need to be closed down, resulting in loss of electricity and water to further homes. Nick seemed to think the contingency plans would be to send in water by the lorry load but, and he grimaced at the camera, "no power for five days at least.

Over to Upton on Severn we sailed, to "catch up" with Dot Jones and her family. Dot was apparently featured a few nights ago after the familys caravan holiday was ruined due to flooding. As such, they are living in a hotel, free gratis, although Dot is helping out the staff by opening packets of biscuits and similar other minor duties. The rest of her family seemed happy to be playing Monopoly in the hotel dining room. We closed with the board game as Dot told how "there was too much take and not enough give" - in this country.


We went back to Hugh who told how he had spent his day "watching people wading through water". I saw his lip curl slightly at this statement, whether in amusement or perhaps boredom and resentment. I certainly was getting bored but it went on and on. More cows in a flooded field; we saw a flooded office, curiously, the monitor was on the floor. Part time fire brigade officer were observed, fortifying an old peoples home with sandbags. Some of the pensioners were frightened we were advised, but "staying calm". We later saw some of them being bussed off to safety.


We then had a rundown from three potentially "at risk" areas. All the location reporters stood in front of raging rivers. One, Rajesh Mirchenandi, told how he had "seen a new kitchen, not even installed, ruined". That is how much was actually happening.


Back to Nick Robinson where he told how Gordon Brown had met with our flood defence team ealier in the day. We saw Gordon with military personnel; I assume they are the team. Nick told of his further worries; by now he had moved to the Thames, and the camera was positioned at a severe downward angle in order to make him look like the Man from Atlantis with an umbrella. The angle mellowed slightly and we saw the backdrop of an arched bridge and the Houses of Parliament. Staying with politics and flooding, it was time for Menzies Campbell, who, speaking from a temporary refugee camp in a school gymnasium, told how the "horse has gone" and mumbled about a "door". He appeared to have forgotten the saying, one can only wonder why.



















If only everything in life was black or white










Hugh said he would be back later with some more dramatic pictures and we berthed with Natasha in the studio for the "rest of the days other news".

It was still politics though and a potential storm brewing about David Cameron's visit to Rwanda despite the flood damage back home. This was discussed and we saw Cameron meeting officials over there. He told how this visit would tackle some of our home issues - at source. He ran through our home issues - immigration, floods, terrorism, global warming and crime. One wonders which of these Mr Cameron believes is sourced from Rwanda. Anyway, this was not discussed and we saw dozens of natives, tribal chanting and beating the earth with hand held digging implements. They are basically attempting to create a soil which will grow crops. Cameron was then pictured, laying a gigantic bag of flowers at a memorial site.


George Galloway next - thrown out the Commons. We saw a short clip of George but very few words were heard.


Elections in Turkey - images of street celebrations were shown.

Tony Blair next. We saw him striding through the arched doorway of the King David Hotel in Israel as part of his new Middle Eastern job. Yesterday he was in Jordan and tomorrow he will meet with the Palestinian President. However, he will not meet with Hamas and so we got to meet them instead. Our reporter travelled under protection to their headquarters where we saw their leader, Ismail Hanegen, interviewed. Images of shanty town slums were shown and we heard of terrible poverty and mass unemployment. Most Palestinians don't believe Blair can deliver we were advised.





The Hindu's bullock, Shambo was back in the news. The appeal over it's death sentence has been reversed and now it is to be destroyed. However, back in May when it was first reported, the Hindus vowed to create a human shield to prevent this happening - so we shall see.


That was the rest of the days news and we went back to Hugh for a discussion into the cause of this "Summer of Floods". A few potential reasons were mulled over before it was time for the promised dramatic pictures. We flew with RAF rescue 128 where a family of travellers were saved. The family was comprised of numerous women and children and as the helicopter landed, the children huddled together, sobbing and weeping. An old lady in a wheelchair was then shown, being carried to the helicopter. A young girl was pictured holding another's hand as - "a child helps bring another to safety". We closed inside the helicoper, an adorable little gypsy boy-child, waving at the camera.
















Always a seller

ITN called it the Great Flood and I saw a Mr Binns carried out his house. I couldnt take any more, sorry.

cheers.

ITN News Review - Sunday 22nd July

It was really about the flooding crisis on the ITN news at half six yesterday evening. We heard that matters are going from worse to worse and the usual helicopter images were shown. A man was shown cycling with a six pack of bottled water and we heard of panic buying. Old grannies were shown; waving at the camera; happy for some attention. David Cameron appeared in Oxford, striding through flood water in his green Hunter wellies. We heard that the rain was "an act of God" and were told of how day trippers who had come in to view the chaos were - "enjoying the bittersweet spectacle". We closed by being reminded we are "waiting for the Doomsday Clock to strike", in terms of further rain, one assumes.

Over to Iraq - another soldier killed.

David Cameron re-appeared; this time to insist the Tories can win the next election.

26 Pilgrims die in a coah crash, images of the aftermath were shown.

Sport was next, always a good selection on a Sunday - Golf, Formula 1 and Cricket.

That was about it really, we closed with the weather. To illustrate this, ITN showed a man and his infant child, snorkeling together in a swimming pool before more doom and gloom was forecast.

incredible

cheers

BBC TV News Review - Friday 20th July

Our armed forces were the first topic on the BBC News at 10; it appears that they are over stretched and we have no contingency capability. We saw images from Iraq and Iran and heard that three more UK troops were killed in action yesterday.



Tony Blair however, is "very pleased" at the moment. This is nothing to do with the war; obviously, but rather that he and his chums will escape any prosecution over the cash for honours fiasco. Nick Robinson was on hand to enlighten us further, it appears that these scurrilous allegations "haunted Tony" in his end days.


We heard of the enquiry and we saw Lord Levy who complained of constant leaks to the media. It was implied that the police were the source. Nick then interviewed another suspect, Sir Christopher Evans over a statement regarding a "wish for a K or a big P." (a knighthood or a peerage) Sir Evans was extremely candid and more or less stated exactly how it all worked, although he couldnt quite remember the actual circumstances of the KP statement. He could however remember that there was someone he would like to throw a punch at. I got the feeling it was maybe Nick who would be the target, after all, it was the BBC who started all this.

The K.P. Crisps Monks - Promotional 1983 advertising produced by Wade. Enough to drive you nuts.



Terror-ential rain next. We saw all the usual flood images. Helicopter views of flooded fields, livestock, homes, cars and the ubiquitous school children, singing in a boat. Again, it seemed to be the new build houses which have suffered worse.


The cargo ship Napoli next as featured on Wednesdays news. It is now in half and should be removed over the weekend.


Politics again followed. We were told of the results in the English by elections. Focus was on Ealing where David Cameron has made five visits, in order to bolster support. This didnt work though and Labour held on to their seat. We went to Sedgefield where again Labour had held onto their seat. Menzies Campbell seemed quite happy about the increased vote to the Liberal Democrats in both seats and we saw him hugging an Asian gentleman. The BBC made no comment as to the increased support of the BNP, the far right party, who received nearly 9% of the votes in Sedgefield, that would be too blatent.






A father who murdered his own daughter in a honour-killing was jailed for life. Mahmod Mahmod, an Iraqi Kurd, was given 20 years. Honour killings and this particular case were both highlighted in some detail about a month ago when we witnessed some horrific home videos from Mr Mahmod's native land on the BBC news


We went back there for the next feature - although it did not involve Mr M. Rather the topic was ongoing tension in the Bad-lands ( phonetic) near to Kabur on the Iraq-Turkey border. Apparently this is the boundary of the proposed new European Union. We heard of Kurds and a possible Third World War between Turkey and Iraq.




Harry Potter - only an hour and a half to go. We saw queues of patient Potter fans in London.





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BBC TV News Review - Thursday 19th July

It was Fiona Bruce in the studio last night on the BBC News at 10, however we went straight to the chief political editor, Nick Robinson, for some breaking news over the ongoing "cash for honours" police investigation into political corruption.

According to Nick, there were three main players who potentially faced criminal charges in this instance. These were Lord Levy, Ruth Turner and Sir Christopher Evans. However there is not enough evidence to bring any of these characters to trial and so that seems about that. However Nick advised us that this whole furore was one of the reasons that Tony Blair resigned his position and therefore Tony and his supporters are likely to feel hard done by. Furthermore, this could be considered a trial by media.

Crime next and we are told that this is at a historically low level. Consideration was given to gun crime and we saw some coloured locals from Soho who were organising a hip-hop opera, to keep the youth off the streets. We saw an old lady, Isobel Kelly, who told us how scared she was of going out and then we saw a black - both in skin colouring and clothing - rapper style gentleman, who attempted to explain his circumstances in a ghetto-street language. I am not sure what his point was; if he indeed had one.



The BBC's point seemed to be that gun crimes etc were more or less confined to various sections of London and the Liverpool-Manchester corridor. It was almost implied that these could be considered black people crimes. We saw some white lawbreakers who were involved in a drunken, street-fight outside a tube station and we heard of a new Crime Reduction Board which is to be set up by our authorities. It seems that the media can again be held responsible for our perceived fear of crime and actually things are better than we imagine.


Jacqui Smith, our Home Secretary followed, and she has admitted smoking cannabis at University. Nick Robinson was back again for this feature and he told how another 6 of the Cabinet swiftly put their hands up to the same offence. An interview with Jacqui was shown and she advised that she "was telling the truth to a question she had been asked". We were reminded of David Cameron's evasive answers when he was asked a similar question.



Nick ran down the drug classification order for us again, Class A - eg. heroin, Class B - eg. amphetamine, Class C - eg. steroids and told us again for the plans to reclassify cannabis up to a B. No mention was made of alcohol or the real reasons for drug abuse.






















Alcohol - different class



Dr Asher, one of the suspects in the recent terrorist bombings, has been charged. Images of the doctor and the burning car were shown.


Over to Russia where four of our diplomats have been expelled in the ongoing saga over Litvanenko. They were declared "persona non grata" by the Russians. We saw Mr L in his deathbed again before a brief clip of Putin was shown. David Milliband has gone through a "baptism of fire" given his new role as foreign secretary in this affair; as such we saw him going through some sort of online question and answer session although the questions on varied topics, including Iraq.


Coming up - Viking hoard found by two metal detectorists.


First, weather, and only twelve months ago it was the hottest day of the year. How things have changed, and we were told of a severe weather warning being issued from midnight over the whole of England and Wales. We saw Cardiff where "it has already started raining". Images of some light rain were shown. Mention was made of record temperatures overseas and then we returned to Filey where we saw a basement flat which had been flooded and the caravan park again, as yesterday.



The BBC themselves next and some high level staff have been suspended over their "integrity". They are "to be grilled" over this.



We finished with the story of two metal detectorists finding a hoard of old silver and we had a bit history as to the Vikings, the source of this trove, with all the raping and plundering etc.



A bit like what all this news does to your mind.



cheers

TV News Review - Wednesday 19th July

We started with the ethics of the BBC on the BBC News at 10 last night. It appears that there have been further shennanigans over premium rate telephone competition entries; in some cases ficticious winners names were created whilst members of the production team took home the prizes. We were reminded as to how this row first blew up a few weeks ago, when it involved the childrens show Blue Peter and since then we have also seen last weeks conflict with the Queen.




We saw a senior member of the BBC interviewed who advised that "there is never an excuse for deceiving the public". The upshot seems to be that "staff are to be trained in integrity" and this should rectify the dishonesty. Again, I will make the suggestion that this could all be a very clever exercise in manipulation. Simply put your hands up to small acts of dishonesty which will deceive the public into believing your integrity. Then continue with your long term, anti-humanistic, mnd-altering programme which we have welcomed into our lives like a psychological wooden horse of Troy.






Trojan horse



A plot to kill another Russian currently residing in the UK was the next topic. Mr Boris Berezovsky has told how our intelligence agencies warned him there was trouble afoot and he should perhaps lie low. It appears that the hitman who was sent to do the job was apprehended, questioned and then sent back to Russia and told not to come back. We saw Boris who told of the plot and his obvious worries over his safety.

Politics next. Nick Robinson was on hand to illuminate us as to current developments. There are two by-elections coming up so this may give us an indication of Gordon Browns popularity. We were told that Gordon is thinking about upgrading the classification of the drug cannabis and that he is targeting middle England who appear to be readers of the Daily Mail. I am unsure as to whether Mr Brown is aware of the true level of illicit drug consumption in the UK and question as to whether a reclassification of anything actually has any effect whatsoever. The real reasons for drug abuse are to do with our society and this is glaringly obvious if one simply looks for oneself.




















Drive you to drugs ?


Coming up - Cars that drive themselves.

First, the plane crash in Brazil, we saw images of the aftermath.

Afghanistan next and we were told of the ongoing difficulties in the twisted paradox of imposing democracy on a country. Basically, the rebels consist of a "rag tag" army who wont give up. The way forward is apparently to give more aid to Afghanistan and example was given as to the current lack of sewage system. It was implied that if we (the western world) upgrade the sewage and sanitation system then the locals will give up their freedom. Sell their soul for a flushing toilet ?

More terror. Terror-ential rain has fallen and there have been more flash floods in Filey, on the east coast of England. We saw holidaymakers being taken back to their caravans, by tractor, to collect their belongings. There are a lot of caravan parks on flood plains though; because its nice beside rivers.

Then as promised - the cars that drive themselves. A race is being held for several of these prototype vehicles which are operated by a computer. When I was quite young, there used to have a whole programme devoted to new, innovative, cutting edge technology. It was called Tomorrows World and it was on the BBC. They never told us it would be like this, then, either.

cheers

TV News Review - Tuesday 17th July

The BBC News at 10 commenced with the decision by wealthy self-made Scottish businessman, Tom Hunter, to redistribute a billion pounds of his own personal wealth to the less fortunate of society via various charities. As such, we saw statistics on poverty and wealth in the UK together with information from the Joseph Rowntree foundation. We are being told that the very rich are getting even richer, although no real solutions were offered to this historical dilemma.
























Tom Hunter - Good Guy ?

Russia followed and we saw clips of their state television which is apparently "asking the same question as us." That being - how will Russia retaliate in response to the expulsion of four of their diplomats following the Litvinenko "crisis". We are still waiting for the details to be advised and as such we saw various theories put forward as to what might happen and what the possible ramifications might be; especially in terms of Western business who have interests in Russia. Particular focus was given to Top Shop and B.P. Again as yesterday, we saw a reporter, Bridget, at the Foreign Office, again the camera persepective seems to blend her in as part of the building, although they used the right hand arch tonight.



We moved on to George Galloway. He is in more trouble and faces temporary suspension from Parliament over his behaviour when being questioned over his integrity over an Iraq based charity which he was involved with. This photo of an extreme Mr. G. is the one featured on the BBC news website as is the one of Mr. H.












George Galloway - Bad Guy ?

Health was next and again we were told of a shortgage of organs for sick people who require transplants. At present, a donor card is carried which gives permission for one's organs to be removed if one suffers an untimely death - however the plan is to reverse this and make the process on an opt out basis. We were told that only 1 in 4 of us currently have given permission for body parts to be removed and this is simply not enough.

Images of a young girl who has received a heart transplant were shown; she was playing on a trampoline. We saw a baby who has just received a new heart; if my memory serves me correctly, we saw the same baby fairly recently on the news, whilst she was still waiting for a suitable donor to be found. Could there be plans afoot to link organ donation with the new ID card - perhaps another selling point for it?

Coming up - Maths questions for 8 year olds - An eighth of 32.

First though, "a maritime tug of war." This referred to the cargo ship, MSC Napoli, which became stranded off Branscombe in January. At the time, there was high media exposure to this story, as thousands of scavengers headed for the beaches in search of rich pickings which were being washed ashore as the boat slowly shed its load of cargo containers. Attempts are now being made to remove the ship and a controlled explosion is being detonated to try to split the craft in two before each half is removed separately.

This seems to be a big story and therefore we saw the very small explosion from three different angles, including a helicopter view. The BBC had also engineered a computer graphic reconstruction to show us how it would all work. We ran through this before being told the ship would be "ripped apart, like a Christmas cracker." We saw images of the January scavenging and heard from enviro-mentalists, about concerns over oil leakage from the stricken vessel.

Pierre Williams next, charged with killing a lady and her two children, in Manchester

Torrential rain has hit England again, we saw brief images of flooding.

A special report on al-Quaeda in America - We are told that a report has been published which states that al-Q have "regenerated" and are "no longer on the run". This has lead to further fear of another attack "here, in the Homeland"

Over in the Palestinian homelands, it looks like some terrorists have accepted an amnesty. In a place where "poverty peels off the walls," we saw some individuals who have taken up an offer from Israel and accepted temporary detention in a police station. We then saw some other Palestinians; however, these ones were armed and did not seem as keen on the idea.

Back to Blighty where it was time for the promised educational feature. It seems that the generation aged between 18 - 25 were not taught to perform simple arithmetical calculations and so we went out into the street with the camera to question some young passers by on what a eighth of 32 was. Some had no idea, some did. We then went into a classroom of adorable youngsters who were collectively asked the same question. 4 ; they collectively shouted; all dressed identically in pristine uniforms.

The answer we were given as to the reason for this ignorance of basic arithmetic in an entire generation was simple. They had relied on calculators. I was at a slight loss to understand this rationale, given that calculators dont in fact have fraction buttons but I do accept that our educational system is somewhat flawed.

ITN followed at half ten. Again we had Russia and Galloway followed by, coming up - a homemade recording of a suicide bombing on a rally in Pakistan. We moved on to the Napoli, we were told of the "last rights " being given and that "desperate times call for desperate measures." We saw images of the human scavengers from January to illustrate this last comment. This is "the ship that refuses to break up".

On to Organ transplants and then we popped over to Pakistan for the promised footage. We saw a march and heard a bang. Gordon Brown was briefly on and we heard of the Stars in Your Eyes connection to one of the children killed by Mr. Williams - as mentioned above.

Then an advertising graffiti artist. It speaks for itself and I have copied the photgraph and the link. http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/england/dorset/6901543.stm.

We closed with Harry Potter and the Imminent Book Launch.

cheers

cheers

Some old advertising with Masonic symbolism

Anybody care to decipher -

BBC TV News Review - Monday 16th July

We began on the BBC News at 10 with the ongoing saga over the poisoned Russian, Alexander Litvinenko. Matters have escalated to international level; as such we heard of "echoes from the Cold War" and " Russia has warned of serious consequences."

The position seems to be that Russia are refusing to hand over the chief suspect Andrei Lugovoi therefore Britain has expelled four of their diplomats from the UK. We saw images of Mr Lugovoi at target practice and were told of our position - "we had to do something - after all, radioactive material was brought to the heart of London." We were asked to consider if the Russians response "would be symmetrical or do they wish to draw a line under it ?"

Over to the Foreign Office for more discussion, our lady reporter stood with a backdrop of three very large arched windows. The camera was positioned and angled so that the journalist took up the entire middle window. In other words, the perspective was that you could then only see one arched window on each side of the lady which made her look almost like part of the building. There didnt seem to be much more really to discuss. Again, we saw images of Mr Litvinenko on his death bed.

Dr Wakefield next. He is in court to answer charges of professional misconduct. There were placard waving supporters outside the courtroom. We heard how the Doctor was the first to link autism with the MMR vaccine however it seems that his methods of research were perhaps slightly dubious. He apparently paid children who attended his sons birthday party, £5 each, for a blood sample. Images of him at a medical conference were shown where he joked about having to double the fee next year.

"Is it a bird ?, is it a plane ? - No, its superBoris". Jolly Nick Robinson jested his way into the next feature, concerning Boris Johnson standing as Conservative candidate for election as Mayor of London. We saw BJ cycling and were told he was a friend of David Cameron. A clip of Have I got News for You was shown as was a spoof multiple choice question on BJ's personal life. Answers included Liverpool FC, Jamie Oliver, New Guinea cannibalism or a lady who alleged an affair. Nick told of "faith in celebrity" and we saw Ken Livingston, the current Mayor.

Our relationship with our children next and we saw some lovely toddlers being packed off to nursery school. One in particular held a replica toy London double decker bus. We were told of how the nursery industry now "takes on the responsibility for a childs education." Ed Balls spoke of "juggling life and family". We were told of "21st century 3 year olds". The upshot seemed to be that this was the way of the family now, both parents work and the baby goes to nursery for social indoctrination lessons. Supernanny has showed us the basis of this education. A child who does not conform with the requested behaviour patterns is excluded from the group until they do. In this way, individuality is compromised, however this is not considered an issue. If this technique does not work, Ritalin is usually the next approach. This chemically speeds up the brain and, paradoxically, slows down the child. What a wonderful world.

Coming up - rubbish - images of piles of black bin bags in the street

Football and potential fraud. Police have raided three football clubs premises in some sort of fraud investigation although there is no definate story as yet. We saw a police station at No. 37 somewhere and then we saw the chief sports reporter, Mihir Bose outside the stadium of Newcastle United. He confirmed the lack of actual story however we were advised that the "arm of the law has reached football".

Kerry Katona next. A celebrity for being a celebrity - if you follow that - Miss Katona has unfortunately been the victim of an armed robbery in her own home. Three robbers, armed with a knife, crowbar and sledgehammer, burst in and forced her husband to hand over the valuables, whilst KK was locked downstairs with her young child. We saw interviews with neighbours etc and Max Clifford, the public relations genius, spoke of his shock.

A young girl who challenged her schools right to ban her from wearing a purity ring, has lossed her case in court. The ring symbolises chastity, however the school have a no jewellery policy.

The Hindus in Wales and their holy cow next. I covered this story maybe two months ago, it concerned a culling order being placed upon a sacred cow which has TB. The Welsh Assembly has overturned the death sentence and everyone seems happy. We saw the Hindus, chanting round their alter.

Food waste now and we headed to the streets of Oxford to see piles of bin bags. We were told of rotting waste attracting vermin and that the problem seems to be what to do with all our "kitchen scraps". Various suggestions were put forward, feeding the scraps to pigs etc. etc.,

cheers