Before I commence with the news review, just a small observation. On Channel 4 last night was a cookery programme starring Gordon Ramsay. We were told at the break that "scenes which viewers may find distressing" would be on after the adverts. These scenes were actually of a lamb which had been found dead on a farm*; believed killed by a mysterious beast; possibly a big cat. All that remained was the skin and bones. Yet the night before on ITN, we saw a young lady stoned to death and no such warning was given.
The news at 10 on BBC started with Bob Woolmer the cricket coach. Apparently, after all the shennanigans and malarky, he was not murdered. We saw a re-run of the original news stories and images of cricketers etc and were told the "curious mystery has come to an end". We were also told that the media had fueled speculation and this had not really helped matters. The BBC head of sport, an Indian gentleman, Miher Bose, gave his opinion on the fiasco and seemed to feel genuinely sorry for Mr Woolmers family. Three times in a week we have seen Mr Bose - who is a traditional "Indian gentleman" in the same manner as Shilpa Shetty is an Indian lady.
Over in Gaza it is civil war apparently and 25 have died in the last two days. No body count was given for Iraq's total over the last two days though. We saw the usual street fighting and mass panic, children and women running away.
We moved on to the tragic case of the policeman killed on duty as reported yesterday. A 27 year old man had been arrested and charged. We saw images of the officer with his infant child and then we saw his wife and sister at an emotional press conference. Images were shown of a shrine (which has been set up at the war memorial) with bunches of flowers and ribbons.
Yesterday, I noted the report of the tragic young boy found dead, floating in the English channel. Tonight it was reported that the father has now been found, also drowned. Images of both were shown.
A feature on food prices next. We saw a farmer looking into his computer which showed bar graphs, escalating. He looked pretty chuffed and we were advised that grain prices were going up. We then saw images of acres of ripe grain.
Anyway, the feature continued by telling us that grain is used in whisky and flour so we could see how the price effects us. Then we were told of "three global reasons why" the price is rising.
First, the weather, especially in Australia. Secondly, change of use of land, more farmers are now growing biofuels rather than edible crops. This was discussed two weeks ago in the newspaceman. Thirdly, the chinese are changing their eating habits. This was illustrated by means of a reporter who was situated in a chinese food shop in China standing in front of the counter, facing the camera. He appeared to be in need of urinary relief or had agreed to carry out some type of tribal dance during the report. It was most strange.
We continued and were shown images of field of opium poppies although no comment was given. We were however advised that "food prices are normally benign and the hope is they will revert to that norm".
Next was the car manufacturer brands, Landrover and Jaguar being sold by Ford. Jaguar runs at a loss so they are being sold as a single entity. Ford has it's own problems we were told and so it basically bolting and cutting losses. This feature was illustrated in part by a table on which six different diecast model cars stood. They were moved off one by one as the reported named other similar car companies which had been sold. At the end, only the model landrover remained. Anyway, these are worrying times for suppliers of parts etc. Mention was made of a private equity purchase.
Next a judge accused of exposing his privates on a train to a young lady. The judge exhibited his black Calvin Klein pants for inspection to the jury, thus somehow proving there was no chance of accidental exposure. He also advised "I cannot think of any gratification for exposing my penis".
Up here in Scotland, our students are going to get a better deal than the English do in terms of fee paying for education. We were told this is helping to create a new North/South divide and we saw a very? young SNP lady MP commenting on this. The girl looked about 18 and could easily have passed as a waitress serving scones in a West Highland tearoom; in terms of her attire. No disrespect to the girl at all but this is a national news programme and one should bear that in mind as it creates an impression. Perhaps that is the purpose ? Anway we were told that this is "stretching the Union to breaking point".
A collapsed building in London, images of emergency services, cordoned off zones.
Bob Monkhouse has been reincarnated from the grave to "make" a video warning of prostrate cancer (which he died from). We saw him standing, talking, beside his own gravestone as if he had just risen. Digital trickery is what created this illusion and we saw the producers beside banks of computer and TV monitors. We then saw some other examples of this including Marilyn Munroe and Elvis.
Over to ITN where we commenced with the emotion of the murdered policeman's widow.
Next though, Tony Blair has criticised the media as "feral beasts tearing people and reputations to bits" as well as "hunting in a pack". ITN seemed up in arms about this and referred to Iraq etc. Tony has conceded that he was partly to blame in the early days as he "courted the media".
A feature on Bob Woolmer, then Gaza, then heavy rain and flooding in Belfast.
Then a very long feature on Landrover and Jaguar, images of cars racing, 4WDing in countryside etc.
We then had a strange flashback to a report some weeks ago which I wrote about. This involved the chinese eating tiger meat. This very short report was just to update us that the meat involved had been analysed and DNA proved it was in fact tiger meat.
Then we saw a feature on the Olympic logo. Ken Livingston, the mayor of London, was being interviewed about various Olympic matters. When the logo came up, he said he was fed up with people reading things into it, it was just a logo. He referred to the ridiculousness of the theories being banded about and gave an example of "The Bloodline of Mary Magdelene" to some background giggling. One wonders.
The Falklands next, we saw a local lady hero who had led a convoy of 4WD's over rough terrain during the conflict, wearing white gloves to lead the way. Then, masses of war footage.
So we see Gordon Ramsay and his dead lamb, a cat suspected, maybe a big cat on channel 4. Then Tony Blair calls the media a feral beast. Then we see a big feature on Landrover and Jaguar, including 4WDing. Then, bizarrely, the Chinese eating habits both the love of tiger meat and growing love of "our" grain
We see Bob Monk House, risen from the grave. The United Kingdom Union is under threat. Mary Magdalene's bloodline.
In the newspapers, it is reported that Gordon Ramsay crashed a 4WD, whilst buffalo herding in Scotland. This feature was also on last nights show but no mention was made of the crash
*Although stated as a farm, this was actually the "back garden" of no less than David and Victoria Beckham.