Just before the BBC News at 10 commenced we were advised that the political programme Question Time; which follows directly after the news; would take the format of an Alan Sugar's Apprentice style show, in order to ascertain the capabilities of the six candidates for the role of Gordon Browns assistant PM.
The news started with Gaza and the state of emergency which has been declared in Palestine. Again,we were bombarded with images of street fighting, guns being shot in the air and scenes of Hamas "soldiers" looting and "collecting their spoils of war". Images of victim children were also shown is as standard practice.
Migrants next, not the flu carriers, the jobs and house takers. We were told that 7 out of 10 people were "worried" about this. We saw several British people giving their opinions, none of them were happy. This is therefore a "wake up call" before we have "civil unrest". All these migrants are "consequences of globalisation".
Plans to help integrate the migrants smoothly include having weekly "tension monitoring meetings", "hit squads" and issuing migrants with "welcome packs". We were told that these welcome packs would include the basics on our lifestyle standards for example, we queue for buses and we dont spit in the street. Reference was made to a group of Polish migrants who had been fishing in a local pond but "didnt realise we throw them back here!".
They will now though because the next story was about our pre Norton cheeky, camp, crazy comedian - Michael Barrymore. Mr Barrymore was charged yesterday along with two other men with the murder and gay sexual ? assualt on Stuart Lubbock who was found dead in MB's swimming pool in 2001. We saw images of Bazza in his heyday, on Strike it Lucky I think, jumping about, probably charlied out his nut. We saw some other images of him looking shifty in a Crombie overcoat and were reminded that we last saw him in Celebrity Big Brother, where he finished runner up.
Obese children next, worringly this now includes babies. A fat mother was interviewed about how her two year old was so "fat". She explained that she just fed him when he was hungry which seems fair enough.
Then a scarlet lady explained it all to us. She showed us a plate with some small portions of egg, meat and vegetables. Then a plate was shown, piled high with doughnuts and cakes, beside which was a pint of coke (not Barrymore's, it comes in ounces). This explained it all then, some mothers are feeding their babies, cakes and similar edibles. Apparantly, "not all parents are willing to listen".
Surfing in South Africa next but not in the sea, on the top of a train. A long feature on this youth sport which involves standing on a train, doing a limbo under each overhead electricity pylon. Alternatively, one can simple hang out the window and breakdance on the side of the train. I know this because the BBC, in their wisdom" showed a long clip of each trick being performed and if I must say; the surfing looked pretty impressive. So impressive in fact that some wee scally is probably at it right now.
Anyway, one of the SA lads has died (although 20+ died last year) whilst performing. His friend said that his last words were "God, please forgive me for my sins". Furthermore, he supported Manchester United. His funeral cortege was shown, a bus containing numerous youths all hanging out the windows. The final image was a boy playing chicken as a train came into a station. Someone please explain the purpose of this story to me.
Next, a 27 year old has escaped from a secure unit. He is linked with one of the bomber groups.
Then, something about Brussels, Tony Blair and Gordon Brown. I didnt really follow what it was about so no doubt it is of importance. It seemed very badly reported.
The young princes next. Is not William growing up a fine young man, what a great King he will be. Him and Brother Harry appear to be of the belief that people have forgotten all the great things that their mother, Saint Princess Diana, did in her lifetime. As such, they are arranging a concert at on 21/07/07 so that we can all remember them. This will allow us "to wave our hands in the air, like we just dont care". So says Brother Harry. I suggest that readers refer to their Bible in this instance and will say no more other than 3 x 7 is 21. So thats 5 sevens in the date. http://newspaceman.blogspot.com/2007/05/wonderful-wizard-of-wembley.html
Next Falklands again, Images of the War again. "Victims" and eye witnesses interviewed, again. A lot of images of religious worship today, inside cathedrals etc. A War memorial was shown with Marines laying flowers in the manner of Maddie and Princess Diana. We finished by seeing a black reporter with the backdrop of a large warship.
Didnt watch ITN, sorry. Take it we select our MP's based on their television performances.
For more on the scarlet lady and similar please see http://www.the-daily-behemoth.blogspot.com/