Huw told us how this was Gordon Browns first speech as leader of the labour party, "delivered against a blue background" instead of the traditional Labour red, the intention being to tempt voters who would traditionally vote Conservative, before we went immediately to Nick Robinson, the BBC political editor, who kindly analysed the speech for us.
"To go or not to go, that is the question" according to Nick, the subject being an early general election. However, Mr Brown, "in the job for less than 100 days", gave no clues as to whether or not this was on the cards. Instead, his speech revolved around British and Britishness (used 71 times) , in particular the strength of the British people and, to illustrate this further, Gordon introduced the Glasgow airport baggage handler John Smeaton, as an example. John stood in his kilt and accepted a standing ovation from party delegates, whilst Nick reminded us of our fears, namely "terror, floods and foot and mouth disease". Smeaton is the celebrity face of heroism against terrorism, he has a column in the Scottish Sun and is recording a Scotland football record for the World Cup, I believe, as well as being in Richard Branson's good books. (Although so are the nefarious McCann's)
We saw selected highlights of the speech, newcomers to the UK who are involved in drugs or guns will simply be thrown out, stiff penalties for shops who sell alcohol to children and maternity pay to be increased were some examples. What Gordon wants is 1st class citizens who "work hard and play by the rules" and who are patriotic; it seems that he is on a mission to "defend our ways of life". Somehow, he manged to tie this all up with the Bible and used a quotation where Jesus says "suffer the little children to come unto me". Mr Brown explained further that he had never read a Bible where it says "some of them", in reference to the children before he moved on to the NHS, praising them for saving one of his eyes when he was a child and presumably therefore, sparing him the schoolboy indignity of being called Cyclops Brown.
We moved on slightly from the speech to talk of an early election. Several prominent Labour MP'S were interviewed afterwards, most thought the party should go for it although some seemed concerned about the winter weather possibly affecting turn out; however we moved back to Nick, who had by now met up with Huw, to hear some more speculation as to whether this would happen or not. Nick told how we would need to wait and see, it appears that the Prime Minister will have one (or both) of his eyes, firmly fixed on polls which should help to determine how he is faring.
Thankfully it was time for the rest of the news from Fiona and we began with tornadoes, it seems that a number have "sprung from nowhere" before unleashing themselves on Southern Britain. Reporter Robert Hall covered the story, we saw the aftermath, some tiles lifted from a roof or two and a lady told how her trampoline had been lifted up and deposited in her neighbours garden. Being honest, there didnt seem to be much real damage at all, a storm in a teacup springs to mind, however we did have time for some hearsay as we were told that one unidentified eye witness had described it as "like something out of the Wizard of Oz". The tornadoes, not Mr. Browns New World Order smoke and mirrors speech. As a side note, large trampolines were available in B&Q at a bargain price some months ago and it seems from your authors own observances, that many are languishing, unused, in front gardens. Saves cutting the grass if you are that way inclined.
Burma was to follow and the ongoing social unrest and demonstrations. Again we saw the monks marching, now joined by civilians but were reminded that last time this type of protest was seen, three thousand were killed. It seems that there is "anger with the regime" due to poverty and poor social conditions and that the monks are the "highest moral authority" in the country. This will no doubt be ongoing for some time.
Next up, Blue tongue disease. Not comedian Jim Davidson, but cows who have become infected with this new-to-our-shores disease which is carried by midges. Images of animals with horrific mouth mutilation were shown.
A driver has been sent to jail for 10 weeks for travelling at 172mph in a 70mph zone. Timothy Brady, aged 33, took the Porsche 911 from his employers without consent and was then caught in a speed trap where his velocity was recorded. Mr Brady was accompanied to court by his elderly parents who appeared to require sticks to walk. 10 weeks is actually 5 with good behaviour, he may even be tagged and released prior to this, maybe 3 weeks total stretch.
A primary school janitor is under arrest after police raided his home and found his bedroom had been transformed into a bomb factory. Some images of the aftermath of the raid were shown however few actual details were revealed as to why he had established the incendiary production unit.
The father of a four year old boy who was stabbed to death on Sunday is still being questioned by police. Images of the boy were shown, his 14 year old sister is still in hospital after also being attacked.
It seems that our economy is looking rather shady at present as we heard how last month, Brtain suffered its "biggest deficit since records began" an astonishing 14 years ago. Economic editor, Evan Davies, told how when Gordon Brown was chancellor, he budgeted for a 4 billion pound overdraft, actually it is 6.5 billion. More economic statistics were revealed, it seems that we are approaching troubled times and Evan thought that this itself may be a catalyst for an early election.
The Iranian president, Mahmoud Ahmadinejad, has visited Columbia University in New York to give a talk to students. We saw demonstrators accusing MA of being a Nazi and comparing him with Hitler, apparently there are more Jews in NY than in Jerusalem and they were none to happy about the visit, further accusations included that Mr A of denying the Holocaust. Judge and Jewry? We saw Mahmoud being introduced to some "anti Zionists" with a "twinkle in his eye" before he was introduced on stage with the words "revulsion at what you stand for". We didnt really see much of the speech itself although it does appear that he has not in fact denied the event, just asked for more research to be done which seems fair enough.
Next up, and to close, the story of a "father in a cold sweat", a Mr Hickman, who helped deliver his baby after the midwife got stuck in traffic. Mr H telephoned 999 and we heard a recording of proceedings as the father-to-be encouraged events - "come on baby" and "it's quite messy". It was a boy and Fiona told how this type of event was in fact quite regular, it appears that one baby a week is born in this manner, with assistance via the telephone. I could not quite understand why the feature was shown but perhaps the new born's name may give some clues. Baby Leo, the same as Tony and Cherie Blairs baby which was born when they still governed our country. Fiona closed by telling us that she had just met another baby before presenting the show, baby Jacob, aged 5 months, which, to be honest, also was totally irrelevant. So, we have Brown and his schooldays, Jesus, Baby Leo and Baby Jacob, a biblical name. Is it just me ?
Jesus & the Devil ?